I've been trying to meet that special someone for quite a while now. I've subscribed to many different services for dating from Lavalife to eHarmony to Plenty of Fish. About six months ago, I decided to concentrate my efforts and activated multiple accounts on different sites all at once. I've been chained to my laptop ever since.
Most evenings after work, I log in and check my in boxes and see who's online. I usually have a few 'gentlemen' that I chat with at any given moment. For some strange reason, it seems to come in waves. I don't know if the weather or seasons have to do with the level of activity online but I definitely do experience lulls in my profile attention.
I was sort of hoping that ramping up my attention to the dating sites would have resulted in something substantial by now... no such luck. I've had a few pleasant encounters and dated a nice guy for a little while. Nothing has really clicked for me yet though. I figure this is going to be even tougher than I thought it might be.
Trying to meet a man who has enough in common with your lifestyle and having that mutual attraction is pretty damn difficult! I keep at it though. Hell, if odds have anything to do with it, then I'll meet my man by the end of the year. If by then, I haven't made that connection, I'll get off the couch and start looking in the real world. This will be my version of Julie and Julia's year of cooking for her blog... but with dating!
When I do manage to have a few hits and start chatting with someone there always seems to be another one 'knocking' on my door. I guess what they say about not seeming too available is true. As soon as your guard is down men seem to know when to swoop in to get your attention. I find it almost stress inducing at times though when I have multiple guys wanting my attention and I'm trying to manage several conversations all at once. I feel a little seedy sometimes doing so but hey, it's not like I really know any of them or owe them anything on first contact... but I can't help myself. Who can resist the attention?
What I mean is, why wouldn't I like all of the attention? It's pretty flattering to have to beat the guys off with a mouse. I don't think that I've been told I was beautiful more in my life than in the last 6 months! That being said, I take it all with a grain of salt and don't let myself get caught up in the rush... most of the time.
So, maybe in my next post I'll have some juicy details about actually having met someone and gone on a real live date! It's been a while since I've ventured away from the laptop and you can only live vicariously through the Internet for so long.
Until next time Online Daters!
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Video Dating- A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words
Usually when you meet someone online and start chatting with them, you assume that the interaction will have a natural progression. Initially, the introductions complete with the ‘what do you do’, ‘where do you live’ and ‘what are you looking for’ are taken care of first. I have a certain style when I chat online and flirt and if a guy can’t keep up then I usually move along.
I don’t normally go to video unless I’m asked as I find it somewhat unnatural and if we’re typing (as opposed to chatting onscreen) then it becomes a matter of staring at the top of someone’s head (or their bald spot) which I don’t find really helps with making a connection.
The positive to video chat is that you get to make sure that the guy you’re chatting with has posted current and real images of himself. I try to keep my images up to date so that if and when I do meet someone, there aren’t any surprises. Apparently this concept does not cross many men’s minds. I had a particularly interesting video chat one time with a guy out in BC. I’m in Ontario so I wasn’t really counting on meeting this guy. This ended up being a good thing. The conversation started off well enough with the usual interchanges. He was a bit younger I am (try 10 years) but I decided to chat with him anyway for the hell of it. He had just bought a new camera for his pc and was getting it set up so we paused our conversation for a few minutes in the hopes that he would get his cam set up. Twenty minutes later he pops back up.... and I freeze in my seat! He actually asked if my camera was working because I didn’t move for a good 20 seconds. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. He was definitely the same guy from the pictures on his profile but he was at least 10 years older and about 100 lbs heavier. Now I’m the last person to judge someone by their weight or appearance but he looked like he had just rolled out of bed and even admitted as much, claiming he looked like sh*@. I mean REALLY?? Did he not think that I would notice a difference between his images and the view on my laptop screen?!!
Needless to say, I discontinued the conversation. That’s actually putting it nicely. I shut the application off because I couldn’t even verbalize my shock to him. Since then I’ve been somewhat wary of video chatting for obvious reasons. I still partake in them from time to time but only when I have a decent feel for the person I’m chatting with. Nonetheless, I get lots of requests to video chat. Most of them just want a flash of something or to show me how big (or small) their pertinent anatomy is. I guess men have to live up their reputation when it comes to dating. Don’t get me wrong. I love men and obviously want to connect with one but some of them could use a bit of finesse when it comes to meeting women. Scratch that. Men could use some common sense when it comes to meeting women.
The moral of this story is, put your best foot forward. In the online dating scene, you only get one chance with someone. If you’re not being honest right off the bat, then what chance do you have to have an honest and open relationship.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Single, Employed & Literate
It's not a lot to ask for is it?!
In the time I've been online dating, I've encountered all sorts. It's pretty amazing what a guy will do or say online that he would never say in person to a woman out in the real world. I mean really? What makes them (men that is) think that I'll be impressed by a gross come-on or some generic "hey, how's it going"?
So, I've come up with some rules to follow when 'approached' by men online. After a few crazy encounters with socially inept or even sociopathic individuals you generally learn what not to entertain.
For example, I do not accept invitations to chat from profiles with no picture. I've discovered that a guy who doesn't want his image floating around on the Internet is probably not at liberty to date freely. Is it just me or when you say you're looking for a long term monogamous relationship, why does that seem to attract married? I'm pretty liberal but adultery is not in my vocabulary.
Rule number two. I'm not a vocabulary snob (well maybe I am) but what's wrong with using spellcheck? If you can't say hello and ask how I'm doing using correct punctuation and grammar, then move along. A girl has to have some standards after all. I really don't feel like I'm being that picky. After all, we'll need to be able to communicate once we meet too won't we?
That leaves me with the employment status of my potential mate. This sort of goes without saying. I'm pretty liberated but come on, I don't want to be the only bread winner in the family. I live with my parents because it's so fricking expensive in Toronto not because I lack ambition. I'm by no means raking in the dough and don't expect my future 'husband' to be rich or anything, although it would be nice. I would like to know that we'll be able to live somewhat comfortably once we get to a point in the relationship where we might want to pool our resources so to speak.
Needless to say, if my suitors don't meet these three criteria at the VERY LEAST, I'm probably not going to even give them my private email address let alone a phone number.
Maybe I'm picky? I think that I have high standards and don't want to compromise no matter how cute the guy is. Although, good looks do have a place in the mix. :)
Next time, video chatting and the surprises I've had with a first on screen encounter.
Until then, stay safe, be happy and don't compromise!
In the time I've been online dating, I've encountered all sorts. It's pretty amazing what a guy will do or say online that he would never say in person to a woman out in the real world. I mean really? What makes them (men that is) think that I'll be impressed by a gross come-on or some generic "hey, how's it going"?
So, I've come up with some rules to follow when 'approached' by men online. After a few crazy encounters with socially inept or even sociopathic individuals you generally learn what not to entertain.
For example, I do not accept invitations to chat from profiles with no picture. I've discovered that a guy who doesn't want his image floating around on the Internet is probably not at liberty to date freely. Is it just me or when you say you're looking for a long term monogamous relationship, why does that seem to attract married? I'm pretty liberal but adultery is not in my vocabulary.
Rule number two. I'm not a vocabulary snob (well maybe I am) but what's wrong with using spellcheck? If you can't say hello and ask how I'm doing using correct punctuation and grammar, then move along. A girl has to have some standards after all. I really don't feel like I'm being that picky. After all, we'll need to be able to communicate once we meet too won't we?
That leaves me with the employment status of my potential mate. This sort of goes without saying. I'm pretty liberated but come on, I don't want to be the only bread winner in the family. I live with my parents because it's so fricking expensive in Toronto not because I lack ambition. I'm by no means raking in the dough and don't expect my future 'husband' to be rich or anything, although it would be nice. I would like to know that we'll be able to live somewhat comfortably once we get to a point in the relationship where we might want to pool our resources so to speak.
Needless to say, if my suitors don't meet these three criteria at the VERY LEAST, I'm probably not going to even give them my private email address let alone a phone number.
Maybe I'm picky? I think that I have high standards and don't want to compromise no matter how cute the guy is. Although, good looks do have a place in the mix. :)
Next time, video chatting and the surprises I've had with a first on screen encounter.
Until then, stay safe, be happy and don't compromise!
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Welcome Single Girls (and friends of single girls)
My first post on my new blog... where to start??
I've been talking about starting this blog for a while now. As a single woman whose gone through the gamut of online dating websites, I figured it was time to share my experiences and observations on the theme. I've been single... a long time. I say that to be candid. I've never dated long term and have always known that I'm going to find that 'mate' that everyone is looking for. I just haven't found him yet.
So while I continue searching, I might as well have fun with this!? Right?
This blog will be a venue for me to rant about men and all of their crazy differentness from women. I also want it to be a resource for other single women who are looking for the ONE, if that even exists.
Any interesting encounter that I think is worthy of sharing (names will be changed to protect the innocent) will be posted. Any thought, complaint, joke, lesson, tip or idea will also find it's place here.
I haven't actually kissed a lot of frogs but I would like to find my 'prince charming'. Maybe by putting that out for the universe to hear, I'll meet him someday. (I'm not actually that idealistic but it makes for a good opening line).
Check back regularly. I can garantee a few good laughs and maybe something wise every now and then. I hope you all gain something from this, even if it's just a way to share our thoughts and hopes.
Vavavoom
I've been talking about starting this blog for a while now. As a single woman whose gone through the gamut of online dating websites, I figured it was time to share my experiences and observations on the theme. I've been single... a long time. I say that to be candid. I've never dated long term and have always known that I'm going to find that 'mate' that everyone is looking for. I just haven't found him yet.
So while I continue searching, I might as well have fun with this!? Right?
This blog will be a venue for me to rant about men and all of their crazy differentness from women. I also want it to be a resource for other single women who are looking for the ONE, if that even exists.
Any interesting encounter that I think is worthy of sharing (names will be changed to protect the innocent) will be posted. Any thought, complaint, joke, lesson, tip or idea will also find it's place here.
I haven't actually kissed a lot of frogs but I would like to find my 'prince charming'. Maybe by putting that out for the universe to hear, I'll meet him someday. (I'm not actually that idealistic but it makes for a good opening line).
Check back regularly. I can garantee a few good laughs and maybe something wise every now and then. I hope you all gain something from this, even if it's just a way to share our thoughts and hopes.
Vavavoom
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